Recently, my surviving grandfather (N. R. D. Furse) died of lung cancer. He was 82. My maternal grandfather (Dr Herbert James Campbell) died of a heart attack at the age of 57 in 1983.
I had always been aware I think that these were quite different men, though have only compared them more than passively since last week. I should say compared with a note of caution, I never really knew my maternal grandfather as I did my paternal one, the former died when I was only a year or so old. My mother has spoken of him, as has my uncle Greg and in brief my late grandmother.
My father's family -- as opposed to my mother's that is; I regard all of them as my family you understand -- has been concerned over the last couple of hundred years with the Church of England, public service in the armed forces except the R.A.F. or R.F.C., oil painting amongst others and the Estate in Devon as it was. This, I suppose, gave my paternal grandfather an education in art, and a love of the countryside he managed so well. I think he will also be remembered as a deeply unaffected and effortlessly courteous man.
My mother's family, quite apart from being a distinct contrast to my father's in outlook and background, are noticeably different in size. In fact with the death of both of my mother's parents, and her eldest brother some time ago, she is left only with her brother, my uncle Greg, as far as we know.
My maternal grandfather grew up in London. We know not of his lineage beyond that, however a portion of Mediterranean blood is suspected. I am told he left school at 15 unable to read, but 10 years later was researching into the then very new and hot topic of the pituitary gland. (His boss, one Professor Harris, was careless enough to die 7 years before the Nobel prize was awarded for this work). This was after having got a job, working full time, getting O-levels and A-levels at evening classes, doing a degree in logic at -- I believe -- a polytechnic in south London before taking on a PhD at U.C. (University of London). It is easy to see from this what a tenacious man he must have been, as well as insightful and hugely strong.
Perhaps inevitably, death of one of my elder relations has lead me to think about myself, not so much of my own mortality -- apparently I have that experience to look forward to if my parents die before I do -- but of how their personalities reflect in me. Clearly this is through my own parents and as I was lucky enough to have both parents around throughout my childhood, I suspect my grandfathers' influence is more nature than nurture. However, I like to feel that my inheritance from them is a strong one. At the risk of sounding immodest, from my paternal grandfather, I have inherited a love of the countryside, my height and physical stature, and how I speak. And again to be perilously close to shamelessness, I like to think I have inherited a love of science from my maternal grandfather, as well as his tenacity, and on my good days his insight as well. I would also like to think that some of his strength of character has reached me as well.
Of course these men both had many other characteristics -- my paternal grandfather had the most self-control and self-discipline of anyone I have ever met, my maternal grandfather had a huge desire to please those he cared about -- and doubtless they shared some characteristics, though I do not know enough to go that far. However, I do not feel I need to in many ways. On top of that, the thought furthest from my mind is that I should want to change any of it, despite there being faults.
We have all heard the phrase 'you can't choose your family', generally said with a tone of voice that would suggest an apparent raw deal. It is probably true that if a child were to be 'bred' the two cogent grandsires would not have been bracketed together; if you want a racehorse, you breed from racehorse bloodstock, and the same for other disciplines and it is of course accurate to say that I have not inherited all of what I would regard as the best qualities of my grandfathers. My paternal grandfather's effortless courtesy, my maternal grandfather's good insight and logic are really missing from me in any measure -- but you cannot have everything and I would be bored without any challenges. But I digress: yes, you cannot choose your family, but with an inheritance like mine from those two men, why should I want to?
I had always been aware I think that these were quite different men, though have only compared them more than passively since last week. I should say compared with a note of caution, I never really knew my maternal grandfather as I did my paternal one, the former died when I was only a year or so old. My mother has spoken of him, as has my uncle Greg and in brief my late grandmother.
My father's family -- as opposed to my mother's that is; I regard all of them as my family you understand -- has been concerned over the last couple of hundred years with the Church of England, public service in the armed forces except the R.A.F. or R.F.C., oil painting amongst others and the Estate in Devon as it was. This, I suppose, gave my paternal grandfather an education in art, and a love of the countryside he managed so well. I think he will also be remembered as a deeply unaffected and effortlessly courteous man.
My mother's family, quite apart from being a distinct contrast to my father's in outlook and background, are noticeably different in size. In fact with the death of both of my mother's parents, and her eldest brother some time ago, she is left only with her brother, my uncle Greg, as far as we know.
My maternal grandfather grew up in London. We know not of his lineage beyond that, however a portion of Mediterranean blood is suspected. I am told he left school at 15 unable to read, but 10 years later was researching into the then very new and hot topic of the pituitary gland. (His boss, one Professor Harris, was careless enough to die 7 years before the Nobel prize was awarded for this work). This was after having got a job, working full time, getting O-levels and A-levels at evening classes, doing a degree in logic at -- I believe -- a polytechnic in south London before taking on a PhD at U.C. (University of London). It is easy to see from this what a tenacious man he must have been, as well as insightful and hugely strong.
Perhaps inevitably, death of one of my elder relations has lead me to think about myself, not so much of my own mortality -- apparently I have that experience to look forward to if my parents die before I do -- but of how their personalities reflect in me. Clearly this is through my own parents and as I was lucky enough to have both parents around throughout my childhood, I suspect my grandfathers' influence is more nature than nurture. However, I like to feel that my inheritance from them is a strong one. At the risk of sounding immodest, from my paternal grandfather, I have inherited a love of the countryside, my height and physical stature, and how I speak. And again to be perilously close to shamelessness, I like to think I have inherited a love of science from my maternal grandfather, as well as his tenacity, and on my good days his insight as well. I would also like to think that some of his strength of character has reached me as well.
Of course these men both had many other characteristics -- my paternal grandfather had the most self-control and self-discipline of anyone I have ever met, my maternal grandfather had a huge desire to please those he cared about -- and doubtless they shared some characteristics, though I do not know enough to go that far. However, I do not feel I need to in many ways. On top of that, the thought furthest from my mind is that I should want to change any of it, despite there being faults.
We have all heard the phrase 'you can't choose your family', generally said with a tone of voice that would suggest an apparent raw deal. It is probably true that if a child were to be 'bred' the two cogent grandsires would not have been bracketed together; if you want a racehorse, you breed from racehorse bloodstock, and the same for other disciplines and it is of course accurate to say that I have not inherited all of what I would regard as the best qualities of my grandfathers. My paternal grandfather's effortless courtesy, my maternal grandfather's good insight and logic are really missing from me in any measure -- but you cannot have everything and I would be bored without any challenges. But I digress: yes, you cannot choose your family, but with an inheritance like mine from those two men, why should I want to?
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