A piece of writing, from about 10 years ago. Not sure why I wrote it but it is fun, if short.
"What is this I see before me? Servant, what is this? Some kind of Joke, perhaps?"
"I think not, my good man." The voice came. Quiet, rather like it does in those cheap films where the villain -- accompanied by some assumingly frightening music -- appears from the dark shadows, looking slightly damp, although masterful in his criminal wisdom. Except, or course, for the fatal mistake.
The fatal mistake this time, however, was the fact that our damp arch-enemy was attired with a rather floppy pink carnation in his Saville Row trilby. Instead of dying horribly, our hero merely pissed himself with laughter, unable as he was to call his forever absent servant to fetch a vessel in which to relieve himself. Such is life, not.
"What is this I see before me? Servant, what is this? Some kind of Joke, perhaps?"
"I think not, my good man." The voice came. Quiet, rather like it does in those cheap films where the villain -- accompanied by some assumingly frightening music -- appears from the dark shadows, looking slightly damp, although masterful in his criminal wisdom. Except, or course, for the fatal mistake.
The fatal mistake this time, however, was the fact that our damp arch-enemy was attired with a rather floppy pink carnation in his Saville Row trilby. Instead of dying horribly, our hero merely pissed himself with laughter, unable as he was to call his forever absent servant to fetch a vessel in which to relieve himself. Such is life, not.
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